The Purple Heart

One snowy cold Alaska winter our family took a vacation to Hawaii. It was wonderful. Bright blue skies with warm soft ocean breezes and warm water at the sandy beaches. One day as we were swimming at the beach I noticed that my 15 year old son had a 1/3 of an inch scar on the front of his shoulder. Since he was so tan it showed up like a neon sign. Where in the world did he get that scar? He hesitated. I insisted. He agreed to tell me now that his oldest brother was safely off on his mission. What follows is the story of the Purple Heart which has become a family legend.

My oldest son loved living in Alaska. It was his kind of place. Lots of wilderness, not a lot of people, plenty of opportunities for him to practice his survival skills, which he did every chance he got. He built an igloo in the backyard and practically lived in it all winter. He would head off into the woods and build shelters and lean-to’s, tree stands and hide outs.  He wore camouflage or army fatigues every time he went outside. He wanted to be a Special Forces operative in the worst way and he was going to see that no skill was left unlearned. This included learning how to throw a knife and having it stick in a tree.

As he was practicing his knife throwing skills one afternoon, his eight year old brother happened to wonder up. He watched as Spencer threw the knife and each time it would stick in the tree and then he would retrieve it and throw it again. Matt said he wanted to try throwing it too. Spencer said no, he was too young and not allowed to touch his knives- Mom said. Matt pointed out that Spencer was not allowed to throw his knife into the tree either- Mom said. But, if Spencer would let him throw it then he wouldn’t tell Mom what he was doing. Spencer reluctantly agreed and handed him the knife.

Matt was four years younger than Spencer so when he threw the knife he couldn’t even get the knife close to the tree so he stepped closer…  and closer. Finally, using all his effort he threw it and hit the tree. The knife bounced off the tree and flew back at Matt.  Matt looked at the knife sticking into the front of his shoulder and watched it slowly fall to the ground. He freaked out. Spencer freaked out. If Mom found out that Matt had a knife stuck in his shoulder he would lose his precious knife. You can’t survive in the wilderness without a good knife! But if his dad found out, he’d be dead.

So Spencer quickly told Matt, who was heading for the house to find Mom, that if Mom found out he had been touching Spencer’s knives he would be in big trouble. Matt pointed out that it was Spencer’s fault for letting him touch it in the first place. Spencer thought fast and came up with a plan. He whipped out his fanny pack survival kit he never went anywhere without and said he knew exactly what to do. "Remember! I’m a Special Forces Op and I can fix anything".

Spencer hustled Matt into their bedroom where they found another brother, Ben. Ben wanted to know what was going on. Spencer told him to be quiet and then helped Matt take off his shirt. There was a nice slit in Matt’s shoulder and it was bleeding. Spencer asked Matt if he wanted him to sew it up. Matt declined the offer so Spencer doctored him up using his med kit. Matt cried and sniffled the whole time. When Spencer was done patching him up, Matt got up to leave. He was still going to tell Mom.

Spencer again thought fast. Matt had obviously been wounded in combat he said, and therefore deserved the Purple Heart. He would get him one, and he and Ben would have a ceremony and present it to him.  It would be cool. He would be the only one in the family to have one. Sniffling, Matt reluctantly agreed. Spencer raced to the garage where he found his dad’s collection of Skiing medals and trophies, found one with a dark blue, almost purple ribbon and raced back. Then he and Ben ceremoniously gave Matt the Purple Heart with full honors.  After the ceremony, Spencer solemnly explained that people who receive the Purple Heart never talk about it because it diminished the honor of the medal and makes it common place. Purple Hearts are too special an honor to go blabbing that one has one. It’s a secret club. Spencer was able to convince them both not to tell.

Their sister claims that this never happened because she never heard about it.  The three boys claim it did and Matt has the scar to prove it. Ben and Matt say Spencer has the gift of persuasion and it worked so well on them they never told another soul until I found Matt’s scar.  Spencer is now in his late 20’s and is a top salesman in his company. He tells everyone he honed his skills conning his brothers. I think he might be right.

You can leave your thoughts, comments or suggestions here on my feedback page. Thanks!

- Dana

How Deep Are Their Roots?

by Melanie Skelton

In a dry, hot place like St. George, Utah, keeping a lawn alive has its challenges. Most people choose to landscape in other ways. One family who chose a lawn for their yard found that a patch of the lawn struggled each year to stay green. In an attempt to figure out why it did not thrive, they decided to rake the clippings that had fallen there, hoping this would allow the grass to breath. But as they examined the grass on hands and knees they realized the real problem was a shallow root system. In all other parts of the lawn the roots grew deep and held strong. But in the patch that dried out each year in the hot St. George heat, the roots were so shallow that the grass pulled out easily, leaving bare dirt where the desired lawn had not grown well. Without strong roots the grass could not thrive.

We are each planted in various parts of the world in circumstances as different as day and night. Whether we homeschool in an area surrounded by others whose beliefs are similar to our own, or in an area where we are alone, our children need strong roots. In every part of the world our children face challenges. They need to be strong and courageous.

But how do we help make those roots strong? How do we strengthen our children in preparation to thrive in a world where values are often questioned? How do we raise our own stripling warriors, able to state with great faith that they know it because their mothers taught them?

One way we do this is by getting rid of the distractions. When we are distracted, or our children are distracted, too little time is left for important faith building activities. Scripture study, Family Home Evening, praying as a family and making time for those quiet discussions our children need, help them learn to "quench the fiery darts of the wicked.

What are the distractions? I hesitate to make a list of distractions because this becomes so personal. Every family must choose at what point distractions begin affecting the strength of the roots we are building. Many of the distractions are not evil, but when you put all the distractions side by side in our daily lives they leave no time for building strong testimonies and fitting the armor of God individually to each child.

Some examples of possible distractions may include electronic games, television, dance and music lessons and sports. Homeschool co-ops can be distracting if they become too involved and require too much. Even a good book can be a distraction if we are absorbed in reading it when we ought to focus elsewhere.

Focusing on activities that strengthen our children in the gospel will help prepare them for that which will be expected of them. We must be willing to put aside the distractions and stand "steadfast and immovable, always abounding in good works" and teaching our children the same. Consider the sacrifices of those who have come before us whether ancestors or great prophets such as Joseph Smith who gave much to bring forth the gospel in the latter days. Above all, remember the sacrifice made by our Savior. When we teach our children to plant themselves in the gospel of Jesus Christ we help strengthen their roots.

You can leave your thoughts, comments or suggestions here on my feedback page. Thanks!

- Melanie

To Practice or Not to Practice?

by Kim Kuhn

Some of the most common questions I get as a music teacher are how old does my child have to be to start learning an instrument, what instrument should they play, and how much should they practice?  Here are what I hope to be some answers.

In my opinion, there is no one particular age for someone to start playing. This depends on what instrument and the readiness of the child.  My first lessons with piano and violin are always free and I call them “trial” lessons.  It helps me to know if the child can sit still for about half an hour.  I have one student that started off with only 15 minute lessons.
  
If they want to learn a brass or woodwind instrument, they might not want to start until after age 9.  These instruments require lots of blowing air so you hardly see a child age 5 playing the trumpet.  Children as early as age 3 can start the violin, but they would be learning using the Suzuki style.  This is when the student learns to play by listening to a note and then copying it.  They do not learn note reading until later.

As for the piano, there are students starting at age 3 or 4 with the Suzuki style, but most start later.  I have had a student that started with me when she was 12 and she did great.  However, I learned she had a previous teacher when she was younger that told her she would never be good in playing piano.  It’s sad to think there are music teachers that discourage the love of music by saying things like that.
   
In deciding what instrument your child should play, please be aware of what their interest is.  If they start off on violin, and after a good year of learning and practicing, they want to switch to cello or viola, let them.  Many times this switch is what will help them find that instrument they really have a passion for.

To practice, or not to practice.  That is the question so often thought about in the minds of parents.  I suggest consistency, a set time and something fun.  For example, practice for beginners can be 15 minutes and either right after dinner or before a favorite TV show or even before school starts (that’s when our family gets music practice done).  After practice, the kids can have a snack.  My 10 year old daughter insists on a snack during her practice.  This can be done 5 days a week.  Depending on how their music teacher feels their progress is going, they can increase practice time to 30 minutes after a few months.

The key is to be consistent.  I had a student once that had gymnastics one day, cross country another day, and I don’t know what on the other days.  Dinner was never at the same time every day.  She could never get a practice in because first, her schedule was so hectic and second, her parents never created a consistent time for her.  Needless to say, she didn’t stick with the music.
      
The last thing I want to mention is finding the right teacher.  It’s ok to check around for a month to find the right teacher for your child.  You can check out your friends’ recommendations, but if it’s not a right fit, don’t feel obligated to use them.  We saw several different voice teachers including one that was recommended by quite a few people before we found the right fit for my 15 year old daughter and we think she’s amazing.

Hopefully I have answered the basic music questions you may have concerning starting an instrument and practicing.  Good luck with your music!

If you have any suggestions for future articles, whether it’s for music or art, just let me know. You can leave your thoughts, comments or suggestions here on my feedback page. Thanks!

- Kim

The Rub of Reality

It’s that time of year again when conferences and conventions spring up around the country to give homeschoolers a new lease on life.  Whether they provide new insight, philosophies, and ideas, or strengthen and renew the old ones, they are an indispensable boost to many a homeschooling parent.  As someone who has attended numerous conferences, both to learn and to teach, I’d like to say a word about the difference between what you’ll see and what you’ll get.

One of the most oft asked questions of homeschool veterans is one that’s made me cringe.  I admit I’ve asked it myself over the years, but when it’s asked of me, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.  “What is your typical day like?”

Rutted routines make me cranky.  I like education to be an adventurous discovery, so a question about a typical day has often implied to me that I should have a regular, everyday, habitual schedule.  I don’t.  At least not in terms of rigid timetables and plotted to-do lists.  I usually have an agenda, but there’s a fluid element to it. So as a presenter who tries to inspire a love of adventurous learning, my inability to describe a typical day as something standard (which new homeschoolers crave) makes me feel slightly inadequate.  In my presentations, I talk about the great things we’ve done and demonstrate the possibilities.  I highlight our best days.  I don’t talk about the days that flopped, dropped, and just plain didn’t go well.  I suspect many conference speakers are the same way.

Now before you cry, “Foul!” and shout that you’ve been robbed, consider this.  When missionaries go out to share the gospel, they don’t knock on a door and say, “Hi.  We’d like to share a message with you about how you can live a life full of callings and meetings and demands on your time.  You can have kids galore for forever, give lots of your money away, and always berate yourself over being imperfect.  May we come in?”  People sharing the gospel share the joy, the good news.(1)  Likewise, so do proselyting homeschoolers.  There is much joy in homeschooling.  There still must needs be opposition.(2)  For all our good intentions, homeschoolers are still mortal and subject to all the thorns and thistles of a Telestial world.
  
If we investigate the word typical, we find that the synonyms of usual, normal, and standard are only one side.  “Typical” has the same root as “type,” which is derived from the Latin typus:   image, and the Greektypos:   impression, model.  Applicable words synonymous in this way would be kind, sort, and nature, implying essential resemblances.   In this sense, synonyms of “typical” would include characteristic, andrepresentative.  So while I don’t put every single day into my PowerPoint presentation, I do select the models—the days representative of the nature of my approach to education—that will inspire my listeners the most.

What about the “bad days” then?  They exist.  Don’t go home from a conference, have a bad day (or a string of them) and think you can never live up to the model.  The reality of homeschooling—or anything worthwhile—is that life is real, and sometimes real hard.

Take this last week of mine for example...  Months ago I scheduled a couple of field trips to Astro Camp in Ogden, Utah, which is 45 minutes from my house on a good traffic day.  I had to have a minimum number of participants in order to attend.  For whatever reasons, it was a struggle getting enough people to sign up.  My entire Monday, which is “typically” a day for getting the house back in order after the weekend and getting some good time in on our current unit study, was spent doing administrative emails and phone calls trying to pull off these field trips.  With the exception of a few math assignments, the kids were fairly free to fly under the radar.  I then had to drive an hour or so away for a baseball double-header with one of my boys.  Upon returning home, I found my husband in dire straits with a health issue that consumed us throughout the night and almost had us in the ER.  Next morning, I was supposed to be preparing for our weekly Science Club, but had to insist that my husband find and see a doctor—which meant that I found the doctor and got him there.  The other mothers in Science Club took my kids and went on with the show; my 7-year-old took it upon himself to do my part.  Meanwhile, my father called to discuss my sister being diagnosed with Melanoma, which consumed much of my thoughts for the rest of the week.  Tuesday night, while trying to have an at-home date night with my husband who was in a brief reprieve, our area was accosted with high winds which took our family’s much needed trampoline (a great recess activity) and blew it through our yard, flattening cemented metal clothesline poles, breaking a 20-year-old tree, shredding the trampoline and bending and twisting the metal frame like Popsicle sticks.  I woke up early Wednesday morning to a blizzard, in which I had to drive a van full of happy Astro Campers through a mountain canyon.  Thankfully, the field trip counted as school.  My formal living room was a disaster because the previous weekend I’d had my big boys gut their bedroom and unload everything in there to clean things out.  Of course, then I couldn’t stand it and much of their week was spent putting things back together.  My husband’s health concerns continued, and since they did, I got to take the car into the shop, run his errands, and cover for him.  This meant that after a visit for tests at the hospital and one more drive to Astro Camp on Friday, I came back home, only to turn around and drive back the way I’d gone and on across the West Desert of Utah to a baseball tournament in Nevada that my husband was going to go to but now couldn’t, to accompany our son. I was then unable to get some things in order at home for our next school week, and worried about my husband and sister so that I couldn’t think it through very well while gone.  Of course, when it rains it pours, so then every single one of my children came down with a respiratory illness over the weekend and who knows what “school” will be accomplished this week.

I could say this was a really bad week, but somehow I don’t feel that way.  I could say it wasn’t picture perfect, but even with all the insanity I still took pictures.  Few of this week’s activities were normal.  Still, we had typical days.  They were typical because they were characteristic of what’s important to us.  We spent time together as a family doing things that we enjoy; we learned new things in adventurous ways; we prayed together and looked out for each other.  I like what Mother Teresa said, “I don’t pray for success, I ask for faithfulness.”  It goes along with my motto for this year, “What you are becoming is more important than what you are accomplishing.”  Even in crisis mode, if we keep what’s important at the center of it all, the realities of life don’t have to rub us the wrong way. 

(1) For clarification, a houseful of children and opportunities to serve in the Lord’s kingdom, pay tithes and offerings, and to better oneself are good news.  But not everyone would see it that way at first.

(2) See 2 Nephi 2:11

Tips for the Beginning Homeschooler...

Spring is finally here and kids all over the country are itching to get out of school. Plans for vacation, trips to the zoo, and more family time abound. That glimpse of freedom is enough to make some moms think about not putting their kids back in school in the fall. However, the leap from “thinking” about home schooling to becoming a homeschooler can seem very overwhelming. Here are some ideas to help make the transition.

1. Determine the legal requirements for home schooling in your state. HSLDA (Home School Legal Defense Association) has a complete list by state. http://www.hslda.org/laws/default.asp
2. Attend a home school workshop or conference. Now is a great time to do this because many organizations hold their conferences in the spring or summer. Conferences are a great way to hear informative and motivational speakers, browse curriculum and meet other homeschoolers. For a good list of events around the country visit http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/calendar/events.htm
3. Read up! There are dozens of books and hundreds of blogs on home schooling. One of my favorite books is Creative Home Schooling by Lisa Rivero. This book is written specifically for gifted students but I think it is a valuable resource for all families. It does a great job of explaining the different methods of home schooling and has an extensive list of resources. There is a ton of information out there, just realize that you do not have to read everything ever published before you can start teaching your own children.
4. Talk with veteran homeschoolers. If you don’t know any in your area try searching Yahoo groups. There are groups for every part of the country as well as for each of the different methods. There really is nothing like veteran homeschoolers to help you on your way.
5. Maintain a sense of humor. Just like everyone else, homeschoolers have bad days now and then, but a positive attitude and a sense of humor can make the rough days a whole lot easier! Here’s a fun video to lighten things up.

Pray. Every child and every family is different; the only way to know what will work for your family is to seek personal revelation. Home schooling can feel like a huge leap into the darkness but just like parenting it’s something you learn as you go. Trust that if you take that jump, you will be able to find the resources, help and strength you need to be successful in this wonderful journey!

Hello, My Name is Katie, and I… Like Book Clubs

by Katie Wilson

There. I’ve admitted it. Despite my reluctance to be defined by one area of interest in my life, I am finally admitting that I am a “book club person.” Or “book clubber.” (No, sounds like someone who sneaks up behind baby seals with a copy of the Oxford English Dictionary as a weapon…) Or is it “book clubbie?” (Uh-uh…sounds too similar to “chubby” for my liking…) How about just a “person who enjoys reading the same book as other people with the intention of getting together at some point for a good time and some undefined amount of discussion of the book we all read.” A little unwieldy for quick conversations, perhaps, but allow me my delusion of being mysterious and difficult to dismiss with a pat phrase.

At the present time, I am actively involved in four different book groups. I am actually a bit surprised when I think about it. I’ve always enjoyed reading and talking about books, but four groups? That seems a bit excessive, even to me. However, each group is very different from the others, with its own purpose and personality, and I don’t often think about them as a unit. They are distinct and bring unique benefits into my life. I attend our Relief Society book group (formerly called the Relief Society “Enrichment” Book Group…oh well, we still find it “enriching”), my husband and I get together with a few other couples regularly for a “Book Chat,” and my kids and I are involved in two separate discussion groups.

Two of these groups are quite structured and formal, setting the reading list months in advance with assignments taken quite seriously (leading the discussion, providing the food, etc.). The other two are rather “loose,” shall we say? We get together when everyone’s schedules work out and pick the books rather haphazardly, and usually after a lively discussion (Typical dialogue at our couple’s book chat: “OK, we’ve done “Frankenstein,” “The Count of Monte Cristo” and “Band of Brothers”… how about a “girl book” for a change?” “I will never read Jane Austen! Never! You can’t make me!”). The groups range from large and diverse (one kid’s group has two simultaneous discussions on different books to accommodate 15-20 kids, age 5-16, from seven different families) to small and intimate (our other “kids” group is just our family and one other family). The discussions range from very structured (in one group I teach a literary term or concept before our discussion and then we see how that book illustrates the concept) to informal (“What was your favorite part?” “Your favorite character?”). Two groups meet on a schedule (one monthly, one bi-monthly) and the other two groups meet when the stars align and schedules are tweaked to create space where none existed. But we tweak. We clear schedules. We make the effort because we truly enjoy each other’s company. And we love books. What better reasons can someone have for getting together?

So, if you are looking for a way to motivate your children (or yourself) to read more or to enjoy reading more, you might think about a book club. Dismiss from your mind tedious English 101 classes looking for the symbolic meaning of “the white whale.” Forget about grabbing the Cliff’s Notes of “The Grapes of Wrath” the day before an essay test. Leave forever behind posters and dioramas depicting “The Red Badge of Courage.” Think instead about immersing your kids (and yourself) in fabulous literature with no other purpose than to enjoy it. And to talk about it--not to examine it to death, but to share your excitement with others so that you can enjoy it even more. I think you might like it. I’ll admit it… I do.

A few books from my “R.S. Book Group”

• West with the Night by Beryl Markham

• In an Instant by Lee and Bob Woodruff

• Mansfield Park by Jane Austen

• As I Have Loved You by Kitty de Ruyter Bon

• Little Pink House by Jeff Benedict

• The Four Feathers by A.E.W. Mason

A few books from my “Couple’s Book Chat”

• The Chosen by Chaim Potok

• Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

• Les Miserables by Victor Hugo

• Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens

• Crossing to Safety by Wallace Stegner

• The Virginian by Owen Wister

A few books from my “Kids Co-op Book Discussion”

• Journey to the Center of the Earth by H.G. Wells

• The Bronze Bow by Elizabeth George Speare

• Tales from Shakespeare by Charles and Mary Lamb

• The Freedom Factor by Gerald Lund

• George Washington’s Leadership Lessons by James Rees and Stephen Spignesi

• The Robe by Lloyd Cassel Douglas

A few books from my “Just Two Families” book group

• The Search for Delicious by Natalie Babbitt

• The King’s Fifth by Scott O’Dell

• Tom’s Midnight Garden by Phillippa Pearce

• The Magic City by Edith Nesbit

• The Goose Girl by Shannon Hale

• I Am David by Anne Holm

About the author:

Katie Wilson is the mother of four children and has been homeschooling for ten years. For a free audio download of Katie's talk "The Power of Family Reading" plus a copy of her extensive "Favorite Read-Aloud Books" list, please visit http://ldsehe.org/5-free-downloads.  Katie will also be speaking at the 2010 LDSEHE Home Education Conference in Buena Vista, Virginia on May 27-28.  For more details, please visit http://ldsehe.org/2010-overview.

One Done...

by Doreen Blanding

There are bench marks in every mother's life. The day she sees a + sign on the pregnancy test stick, the first ultrasound pictures, the first scraped knee, the first cub scout award, the first drive in a car when you are in the passenger seat hanging on for dear life, and the last day of homeschooling.  I have done all of these with one child and expect to do them all with the rest.  My oldest boy "graduates" in just months. Granted he has been in college for the past two years but this is his last year in "high school." I am busy doing all the "senior" things that all the other moms in the ward are doing. 

As we look back on the journey we see lots of things that we enjoyed and many things we could have improved.  I asked him the other day to make a list for me.  On the positive side he listed: "I got to learn at my own pace and learn the things I wanted to, I got to sleep more and I had a very loose schedule."  Things he didn't like were lack of social interaction and having family around all the time.  Since I need a bit more to write an article about I asked, "What should we have done differently for you."   He thought for a moment and said, "I was prepared for college. The areas where I wasn't prepared were my fault, not yours."  He felt his math skills weren't good enough and he takes full blame for that since he stopped when it got "hard."  He wished he would have written more and taken it more seriously.  But the one thing he wished I would have done more is set "hard deadlines" and be serious about them.  In my defense he did say that it would have been hard because even though I was the teacher, I was also his mother and that would have made it hard.  "Missing a deadline would get your displeasure, but I knew you would get over it and still love me.  My professors don't care."

I've thought about his comments for the past few days.  How do you prepare your children for college? How do you make them learn something when they refuse? How do you separate mother from teacher?

I have been homeschooling for the past 13 academic years: 18 years of my life.  I have taught six kids to read, write and do math.  I have taught physical science, biology, botany, chemistry, ancient history, modern history, Spanish, Portuguese, Latin,  geology, cooking, cleaning, spelling, grammar and a lot more things I can't remember.  I've taught them more than once. I have taught the things our state requires and more.  I even hired a writing tutor to help them.  I have had two sons now pass the test to get into our local community college. I did my job, or so I hope.

As a parent I joke that the one thing I fought so hard for in Heaven was agency and yet I want to take it away from my children. After all, I know what is best for them and they just ruin it by making their own choices.  One thing we cannot do is force a child to learn.  If they don't want to learn they won't.  I struggled for many years trying to help my oldest understand math.  At least he admits that it was his fault that he didn't do more to learn the lessons that were placed in front of him. The only thing that I can do for my children is present the material again and again and hope that some of it will sink in.  When I first started my journey down this homeschooling path a friend told me her job was to "facilitate her children's learning."  When my son told me that the times he didn't learn were his fault, I knew he was right but that didn't take the sting out of it.

Separating the role of mom and teacher has been the hardest thing for me to do.  My mantra has always been "Life is school, school is life."  Everything we do is about learning, therefore I'm always both a teacher and a mom.  For that reason it is sometimes very hard for me to turn off the sympathetic mom and turn on the hard nosed teacher, especially when it comes to deadlines.  My son's college professors don't care that his mother has cancer and that he had to be her chauffer and drive her to surgery.  His professors don't care that he had three other papers due or an extra busy weekend at work. 

The adjustment to college has been a difficult adjustment for my son to make, but he has made it and, thankfully, he has been passing tips along to his younger siblings and also to me. I've been able to use his feedback to adjust how I teach our other children. Life really is all about learning and together we are learning as we go.

It’s Garden Time

Oh what to do in May?  I have thought all month long about what I wanted to share with you in ‘Building Family Traditions’. What really comes to mind are our gardens!  Yes, our gardens. After all, they are a family affair, aren’t they?  What a wonderful way to teach our children good work habits with a cheerful and thankful heart and appreciation for where things come from as well as the satisfaction of seeing the rewards of our hard work.

Helen Hayes once said, “ All through the long winter, I dream of my garden.  On the first day of spring, I dig with fingers deep into the soft earth. I can feel its energy, and my spirit soars.”

Isn’t that how you feel?  Right after Christmas the first garden catalogs start coming and you almost feel that little childlike excitement grow within you.

“One of the most delightful things about a garden is the anticipation it provides” W.E. Johns – The Passing Show

The hunger and need for man to dig in the dirt comes at an early age.  Do you know any 2- year old that isn’t happy playing in the dirt?

Gandhi felt, “To forget how to dig the earth and to tend the soil is to forget ourselves.”

Yes, it is hard work, and sometimes it is like pulling teeth to get help out in the garden but the rewards are so worth it. 

Our Prophets have asked us to have a garden, and what a great opportunity to teach obedience, self-reliance, gratitude and sharing with our neighbors!

Pres. Kimball (April 1976 Conference Report) called upon ‘Latter-day Saints everywhere to produce their own food.’  He understood that some of that might be in containers and pots not just in garden beds, but there are lessons and skills to be learned as well as the simple act of obedience and showing our children that we listen to what the prophet says and then we do it!

What are the rewards?   There are several:

Family Unity – you are teaching your children the rewards of their labor, the gift of work.  Side by side working also allows time for those precious teaching moments, you have their undivided attention, a captive audience, and the chance to let nature be the teacher. The garden’s wide-open spaces and its quiet beauty provide a non-threatening environment for your children to open up to you and to share their hearts.

Self-sufficiency – isn’t it wonderful to be able to go out into your own garden and choose dinner?   A garden helps us also develop confidence that we can take care of ourselves if we need to. We also learn that ‘we reap what we sow’ from a job well done or not. 

Pleasure & Joy – a garden reminds us of a loving Heavenly Father and all that is good and beautiful in the world.  We have been told that, “Men are that they might have joy…” Pres. Monson has told us to, “Enjoy the Journey”.  I believe this is true in all the paths we walk in our lives.

Hanna Rion believed, “The greatest gift of the garden is the restoration of the five senses.”  Isn’t that the truth? It makes you slow down and actually take time to smell the roses, as well as provides a place and the moments for us to receive the answers to questions we have been pondering.  It opens the door to inspiration when we slow down “to listen and to see”.

Health – We KNOW what we have put in our soil and on our plants.  Growing and eating our own fresh vegetables and fruits is healthier.  We also can watch what we do and use to store those goodies for our families.

Reduced Expenses – this one has been argued by many as to the actual costs of raising and working in a garden than just buying off the shelf.  You will have to weigh that yourself.  I also take into account what money cannot buy like the rewards listed here, and then I think –yes, it is worth it.  For our family, I do believe it does save us money through the garden season as well as provides fresh vegetables and fruits all summer long; more than I would normally be able to provide for my family if I had to solely rely on going to the store.  I suppose you could help your kids set up a little road side stand and sell your excess to help offset the costs of the seeds etc.

Opportunities to share –have more than you need? Share or trade with those around you, neighbors and families. 

Therapy – the garden is a great place for reflection, to quietly talk to “Father”, and to vent frustrations as you pull and tug on those nasty weeds.  When you are out in the garden it’s hard to be angry for too long as you gaze around yours and the Lord’s handiwork.

George Bernard Shaw felt, “ The best place to seek God is in a garden.”         

“You can bury a lot of troubles in digging in the dirt.” Unknown

Some of my children’s favorite memories have been out digging in the garden and losing themselves to an adventure among all the green leaves and vines. A garden should be a wonderland to our children – let them be a part of the planning and the planting.  After many years of frustration and feeling like I was fighting a losing battle, I came upon the idea (I didn’t come upon it by myself I am sure) of having each child choose their garden favorites to plant and they would become the caretaker/steward over those vegetables for the whole summer.  They always choose their favorites and were actually excited to watch over their gardens!  We encouraged them to plant flowers as well.  The conditions were:

1. You had to plant enough for the whole family to eat from and, hopefully, there would be something to put up for the winter as well.
    
2. You were responsible for your garden space (usually these were divided up into some sort of shape with twine or stakes) If you didn’t take care of your garden the whole family didn’t get to enjoy that food for the year.

We still watered the garden as a whole, but they had to weed their areas (which didn’t seem so overwhelming now that they were smaller) and watch for ripe food.
We all still helped in the major harvesting.  Mom and Dad took care of the bigger stuff and whatever was left over.  The garden was now bite size for every one and not such an impossible mission. They were always so proud to bring in the “fruits of their labors” to share at the dinner table.

A garden also works well for a Young Woman’s project.  Both of our daughters did it one year - one made a ‘Salsa Garden”, and the other pretty much took over the rest of the garden after the two younger ones chose their favorites.  She is the one that came to absolutely love gardening,  came to take great pride in it and worked out there for hours on her own; well past the required 10 hours.

What about the ‘little people’?   We put together a little area that was ‘safe’ for them to dig in, and built a teepee from large limbs that we usually could find around the yard.  Then around the base of the teepee we planted things that would climb up the ‘legs’ like scarlet runners, morning glories, beans, etc and planted some of the smaller and more colorful sunflowers around the sides and back. It was a hit! They loved having a new hiding place or a secret place to read and dig; and my garden was safe from little feet trampling the small seedlings.  Once the plants got bigger it wasn’t usually an issue anymore and the kids played freely in the garden with their cars and G.I. Joes.  

A garden is also a great place to set up an observation site for Science or Nature Study.  We made that a fun experiment one year and our daughter learned a lot about observation skills from watching our front flower bed for a week at different times of the day.  She learned to note more and more things as I would ask her questions about what she observed in that 15 min to 30 minute time span.  This way she learned to be more detailed in her observations and would pay more attention to the little things going on around her. Our daughter now loves to go out into the garden with her camera and shoot all sorts of fun candid shots of bugs, vegetation, and busy little nieces and nephews.  She has caught some fun pictures of insects and kids.

So, as you can see, a garden is a world of it’s own.  It can be a haven for those needing peace or a hideaway from pirates.  The whole idea is that a garden is a mode of expression and beauty, a place of joy.  It gets us outside in the fresh air and sunshine and refreshes our spirits as well. As Abram L. Urban once said, “In my garden there is a large place for sentiment. My garden of flowers is also my garden of thoughts and dreams.The thoughts grow as freely as the flowers, and the dreams are beautiful.”

Enjoy the Journey!

Building a Family Culture Based on God

by Tracy Ward

This is the second article of a two part series. You can see part one here.

Sabbath Preparation

One of our favorite family activities is our Sabbath preparation. Saturday used to be a day of endless errands, projects, and shopping. We would often arrive home late Saturday night exhausted and grumpy. We decided this had to change! We now try to use our time during the week more efficiently so that Saturday is not bombarded with a huge to-do list. Saturday is now a special day to spend time together as a family, having a picnic in the yard, going fishing for a few hours, walking through the woods, reading, or working in the yard in the early hours of the day. We try to be done with all of our activities by around 3 pm. My husband prepares our food for the Sabbath, our children prepare their clothing, and we gather any supplies we may need for church. Then, after dinner we have what we call Saturday Night Devotional. We meet together for an hour or more singing hymns, reciting the poetry we have been memorizing, and reading stories from our ancestor’s lives.

Often, our children will call their grandparents or others we have read about to ask them more questions about what we read about or to simply giggle with them about a funny experience. If our children are speaking or singing in church the next day, they will also share their talk or music with us as a final rehearsal. Our children look forward to this time all week. They are so excited to hear stories about their ancestors. I carefully pick stories that teach a principle my children need to grasp. For example, stories of my grandmother having to gather the eggs of 5000 chickens, or churning butter to sell help my children to understand the principle of work. Sometimes I choose something hilarious that my children will identify with and remember forever, like my grandma trying to ride a bike for the first time as an adult and falling off in a big mud puddle. Since making these changes in our week, our Sabbath has become a day of delight to our family.

Family Night – A Favorite

Another favorite family rhythm is our Family Night. Monday nights are special nights where the only thing on the schedule is family time. My husband teaches us a lesson from the scriptures, we sing songs, play games, and talk about family issues. We use this time to teach hymns we aren’t familiar with, music leading technique, poise and skills in giving a lesson, or performing a skit or music piece. Making this time a priority in our schedules has blessed our family in numerous ways. Our fourth area of focus is looking to God for answers. If we are studying or wondering about anything at all, rocks, war, values, bugs, food, countries of the world, freedom, holidays, health, cleanliness, anything you can think of, we first look at what our scriptures say about the topic. Sometimes we can’t find anything specific and we do our best to understand the truth of the subject. Sometimes, we are surprised to find there are an abundance of answers we have never known about.

Personal Mission Preparation 

We believe God has a personal mission for each of us. One of our roles as parents is to help our children develop the faith, obedience, and talents they need to fulfill their mission. We believe a child’s education, indeed each person’s education must be undertaken in a partnership with the One who created us, knows us, and sees what we do not see. We know that if we ask for His guidance in our personal educations and the education of our children that we will be led to precisely those writings, mentors, music, books, art, and philosophies that will allow us to best serve Him. We believe that the process of education is personal and individual; each person on this earth needs to learn different things. We also believe education should always include a core foundation of truth: who we are, who God is, how to discern truth, how to make choices concerning right from wrong, how to be a wise steward, and how to be obedient to the truth one has been taught. As we learn together in our home, we look to God to direct our path and realize that each of us has a different path. After the foundational principles are learned, we may each journey toward different goals.

Meeting Challenges in Life

Many times in our lives, we know we are not up to the challenges before us. We realize that we cannot solve a problem on our own or remove the grief from our hearts. For our children it is when their favorite animal dies, a friend moves away, there is not enough money to buy what they want, or when they are asked to do something they are afraid of. As adults, we are often faced with much larger trials and fears. When we are scared, sad, in need of understanding, a blessing of health, or a temporal item, we pray about it. At times, our children hear us pouring our hearts out to the Lord. We believe this teaches them that we are dependent on our God and that we trust His will for our lives. Last year, our little girl, who was five at the time, was fishing and had not caught anything. She went away from the group and knelt down on the beach. When she returned we asked her what she was doing. She said she had been praying about not catching any fish and asking God to help her. On her next cast she caught a fish. We are grateful that a loving Father in Heaven saw fit to bless this precious child with a faith-boosting experience. 

Simple Christian Service

Lastly, we strive to live the commandments. We try to serve others as a family by taking in food to those who are sick, giving items to people who need them more than we do, visiting those who need a cheerful presence in their lives. We try to keep the Sabbath day holy. We try to base our behavior on the teachings of Christ. We do not always succeed, and this can prove to be just as excellent a teacher as when we do. Our children learn much from our mistakes as well as their own. The task of our life is to align ourselves with Christ. Through incorporating these activities and habits, we are developing family unity and allowing God to be part of our family identity. We believe that for our children and ourselves to desire the simplicity and beauty of the things of God, we must limit or eliminate the things of this world that are showy, loud, overly stimulating, and immoral. When we do not have television, video games, popular culture, and expensive recreation to dull our minds and fill our days, our spirits are free to seek for truth and enjoyment in the things of God.

Our journey to this point has brought us closer as a couple and as a family. We have learned that God has called us to be parents of our children and He expects great things from us. We are slowly becoming the people He created us to be and catching a glimpse of His vision for us. As we embrace the duties of mothering and fathering with joy, we are blessed by a deeper understanding of how even the most mundane tasks of running a home and raising a family can bring us closer to God. As our family learns to worship, trust and ultimately follow Christ we will find happiness and completeness and have a lot of fun along the way! 

For further reading, see Ezra Taft Benson, “Fundamentals of Enduring Family Relationships,” Ensign, Nov. 1982, 59

Meet the Author Born and raised in the open spaces of southwestern Wyoming, Tracy Ward has always been a writer, and is now finding a little time to put her talent to paper -- between home educating her children, violin and cello lessons, teaching gymnastics, political forums, assisting at home births, fulfilling church callings and furthering her education. In her spare time she is an avid reader, goes camping and hiking, and is enthralled with learning Hebrew and about Jewish culture. Tracy's life has been blessed and magnified by her best friend and husband, Richard, and together they have charted the blueprint for their heaven on earth. She currently resides in Idaho with her amazing guy, three adorable children, and an assortment of outside creatures, including laying hens, cats and kittens, a beautiful golden lab, and several squirrels.

Family Letters

by Melissa Orton

Several years ago when my brother left on his mission, my family decided that we would send a weekly e-mail to him (as well as the rest of our extended family) so that we could all keep up-to-date with each other.  My letters started out as more of a “log” or report of our small family’s weekly schedule, rather than a letter.  Consequently, they were not always entertaining to read, although they did fulfill the purpose of keeping the extended family up-to-date on our lives.  As the months went by, I found that the duty of writing this weekly letter was always in the back of my mind and I started to view our family life a little differently than I had before.  I began to really notice the little things, the small moments in our week that I knew I wanted to share with my family and even more importantly, be able to remember later.

As a result, my letters evolved from a “log” of our activities to a record of the things I didn’t want to forget.  During the week, I jot down a few words to remind me of any incidents I want to include in the weekly letter.  I find I often do this right after the incident happens because, let’s face it, moms aren’t known for having a great memory!  (We have too many important things going on in our brains at once!)  Then on Sunday evening, I sit down and spend 15 to 20 minutes writing out the incidents in more detail.  To be honest, the letter doesn’t go out EVERY week, but I do try to be consistent.

As a homeschooling mother, I find my children provide me with an endless supply of material to write about.  I don’t just get to see the common children’s milestones like their first steps, riding a bike on their own or losing their first tooth.  I get to experience their whole life: when they learn to read, science experiments gone wrong, learning a new language and reading aloud a book that changes all of your lives.  Writing these little things down in my family letter has ensured that not only will my extended family get to know my children better, but I won’t forget the little things that make each day so special.

Over the years, our family’s letter has covered many highs and lows: providing great snapshots of our lives.   Like the time my two-year-old daughter spread strawberry yogurt all over her body, logically deducing “This looks like lotion and it smells like lotion, so it must be lotion.” Or the time my three-year-old daughter served us “tea” with water from the toilet because it was the only water source she could reach.  Or when my eight-year-old wanted to figure out what would happen if you put regular dish soap into the dishwasher.  (Not a good idea, and here is a picture to prove it!) Then there was the conversation when we discovered that for years, one of our girls thought that hot dogs really did come from little dogs.  The family letters have documented my children developing such a passionate love for reading that the threat of “losing their reading privileges” is the worst punishment possible.  Superior ratings at a piano competition, sewing projects completed under Grandma’s tutelage, entire afternoons playing pioneers, sibling relationships growing stronger—all of these memories have been preserved in the family letters. 

Now for the best part, the part that keeps me motivated to write all year long: my own kids don’t get to read the letters on a weekly basis.  They have to wait until Christmas!  On the night of December 23rd, our children traditionally exchange gifts with each other.    The last gift of the evening is given by me.  Even though everyone knows what’s coming, it is still highly anticipated.  Everyone opens his or her own copy of the year’s family letters at the same time.  All of the other gifts are pushed aside so that everyone can savor these special memories.  The kids love to see what was written about them and remember their own small accomplishments that otherwise would have been forgotten. 

I know that once our kids leave home our family letters will never be the same.  I don’t think my husband and I will have quite as hilarious times to report once the girls are grown!  I will no longer get to enjoy the great blessing of watching my children learn and grow right under my nose.  I know that these letters will become one of our greatest Christmas memories.  Maybe in your life, Christmas is too busy a time to think about doing something like this, so do it for Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.  Really though, think about doing it.   You’ll never look at an overflowing dishwasher or strawberry yogurt the same way again.

About the author:

Melissa Orton is the mother of three beautiful girls and has been homeschooling for eight years.  She is currently serving as the Vice President of LDSEHE and will be speaking at the 2010 LDSEHE Home Education Conference at Southern Virginia University on May 27-28.  For more information on Melissa, please visitwww.ldsehe.org.